Rural living is undeniably special. The fresh air, open spaces, and untouched scenery offer literal and figurative breathing room. Rolling hills, quiet mornings, and the space to spread out bring peace and freedom rarely found in urban settings.
However, while space can be a luxury, it also comes with its own set of challenges—especially when it comes to building community.
The Struggle for Connection
As someone who grew up in rural upstate New York, I’m all too familiar with the struggle of finding community and connection in rural communities. People are often spread far apart and aren’t able to just take a short walk down the street to a coffee shop or to say hello to a friend. This physical distance can create social isolation and a lack of belonging, which sometimes leads to people feeling physically and emotionally isolated, which can result in increased feelings of:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Loneliness
- Greater likelihood of substance use
Loneliness is a huge epidemic and can contribute to these, and other mental health challenges, including higher rates of suicide.
So let’s explore how people in rural areas and those facing loneliness can mitigate these challenges and create intention and meaningful connections.
Let’s also be honest, pulling yourself out of isolation to put yourself out there can feel extremely difficult and scary to do. It’s essential that you take it slow and create achievable goals for yourself. We want little wins that will lead us to victory (whatever victory looks like to you).
Knowing Yourself: Mind Mapping
In order to find a connection, we need to take a moment to connect with ourselves—and look inward. Why? Because knowing what brings you joy helps you find like-minded people who share that joy. And that’s where real connection begins.
Step One: What are You Looking For?
First, what I suggest is to take a few moments to reflect on what community and connection mean and look like to you. I want you to be as honest as possible with yourself. This is just for your eyes!
Whatever your answers are, it is important that we take time to reflect on what we are needing and wanting for ourselves so we can make sure we are aligning with what we want and know where to put our energy. I included some reflection questions below to help you reflect. Feel free to write your answers down.
- What does community or connection mean to you?
- What does community or connection look like to you? Are you looking for someone to talk to? A sense of belonging? Fun? Laughter?
- What are you hoping to feel?
Step Two: What Sparks Joy?
Now that you have looked inward about connection and community, let’s pause to reflect on what brings you joy. If you’re unsure, consider what piques your interest, even if it makes you nervous. Use the questions below to guide your reflection and feel free to write your answers down.
- What truly brings me joy?
- What activities or ideas pique my interest?
- Is there something I’ve always wanted to try—even if it makes me nervous?
Now, having reflected on what brings you joy and what you want from community and connection, let’s move into actions for finding and creating opportunities that support you fully!
Step Three: Finding Opportunity – What to Do
Let’s think about ways we can find opportunities for connection. Opportunities can really be anything you want them to be. It can be finding time to call a long-distance friend, or maybe it looks like finding an opportunity to join a theatre group, but it could also be an opportunity to talk to someone new! Connection can be anything, and below is a list of potential opportunities of connection.
- Getting involved in local events!
- Join a local group (theatre, hiking groups, yoga/health groups, running groups, archery, book clubs, sports leagues, a food co-op, really anything that sparks your joy—go look for it).
- Use social media to connect with people and find groups based on your interests.
- Schedule a weekly phone call with a close friend or family member!
- Sit in a cafe and challenge yourself to talk to someone new!
- Go introduce yourself to your neighbor and invite them to dinner!
- Go learn a new hobby!
- Join a local gym and take a class.
- Attend places of worship.
- Host a game night or maybe a craft night.
- Attend cultural events.
- Go to the farmers’ market and talk to the vendors.
- Volunteer at local organizations.
- Find a support group.
- Connect with your co-workers.
The point is that you get to decide what opportunities you want to engage in. Write down a few that are coming to mind or some that you would like to try.
Step Four: Finding Opportunities – Where to Look
Now that we listed out potential activities, next we want to brainstorm how we can find potential opportunities! The types of opportunities you are looking for will guide where you look. Some overall good spots to look for opportunities for joy and connection are:
- A Google search: the internet is a helpful tool when looking for possible opportunities.
- Community bulletin boards/posters: usually can be found in cafes, laundry mats, or any other shared community spaces.
- Social media: social media is a great way to find local groups and local events.
- Word of mouth: ask around! Talk to people in your area. You might be surprised by what’s available.
Make sure you write down your plan on where you are going to look for opportunities!
Step Five: Pave Your Way
Sometimes the opportunities you’re craving don’t yet exist, but you have the power to pave your own path to build the connections you desire.
Whether it’s starting a small weekly gathering, organizing a book exchange, or simply reaching out to a few neighbors, remember that a community doesn’t have to be big—it just has to be meaningful.
If you have been waiting for a sign to take the initiative to create your own community, this is your sign! Look out for a future blog post that will dive deeper into tips on how to take initiative to build community!
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, rural life offers a beautiful blend of solitude and simplicity. With a bit of openness and effort, the wide-open space can start to feel like home—full of friendship, joy, and community.
