Is your job dropping new tasks on you that you didn’t even have capacity to do in the first place?
Is your partner driving you nuts by leaving that cup in the sink without washing it?
Woke up today and no one Venmo’d you a million dollars?
Sounds like a good enough reason to crash out to me!
New to “Crashing Out?”
“Crashing out” is a Gen Z term that has been on the rise, and can refer to any sort of sudden, uncontrollable outburst of emotion or complete mental shutdown. Typically this can be in response to overstimulation, feelings of being overwhelmed, or a consequence of full blown mental or physical exhaustion.
Like most things, crashing out is a spectrum. Whether you’ve let out a good primal scream into your pillow, brainrotted on TikTok for 6 hours watching back to back tarot card videos, or wiped out your month long inventory of Ben and Jerry’s in one night — congratulations, you’ve joined the legions of people who have crashed out throughout the ages.
Being Mindful and Demure When You Just Wanna Burn It All to the Ground
Whether it’s at work, with our partners, or just walking down the street, restraint is the name of the game. For all of human history, we have been taught to exercise restraint with our emotions and our feelings. Unfortunately, for us, there isn’t exactly a guide for what to do with all of these feelings and emotions we’ve spent hours, days, or even years bottling up.
The last thing we ever want to do is let our emotional outbursts or mental shutdowns hurt the people we care about or allow a full blown crash out to unfold in inappropriate settings like a Zoom meeting for work.
Let’s talk about three ways to release those emotions so that they don’t build up (and overflow) unexpectedly!
1. Go Touch Grass… Literally
If you feel the static electricity that comes before a good crash out session, it might be a good idea to stop whatever you’re doing and go outside and touch grass. No literally, go outside and go touch a patch of grass.
Whether that’s with your palms, or your feet (through your sneakers is okay too), connect with the ground. Focus on the textures of this patch of earth you’ve happened upon, the temperature of it, where it is specifically making contact with your physical body or how it shifts under the pressure we place on it. Inhale and exhale deeply as you work your way through these descriptions. We in the biz call this practice grounding.
Grounding allows us to temporarily hijack our pesky little brains from its 24/7 job of thinking and force you to engage it in other ways. By going outside and connecting your body with literally anything else besides the stimuli that is the culprit for your crash out, you have effectively walked your nervous system away from its metaphorical nuclear bomb codes. Hooray!
2. Crashing Out Responsibly feat. Beyonce (Not a Song… Yet)
Part of the biggest reason that we reach boiling points is that we often do not allow ourselves to sit with and confront emotions or stressful situations. If you’re new to crashing out, it can be especially hard to find a medium to express how you feel. Luckily for you, we live in a world where you can have someone else say it for you, like your favorite artist!
Seething with anger over a micromanager? Throw on your headphones and play your favorite angsty album. Situationship got you down horrendously? Pull out the vinyls that speak to your yearning. Is your aunt at the family gathering hyperfocused on your weight again? Sounds like a good time to head to your car for a 5 minute blasting session of the songs that make you feel like a baddie.
Song lyrics can act as an incredible outlet for your emotions or as a vehicle for reflection. The reason that music resonates with us so deeply is often because it provides us with words and framing for situations that we may struggle to articulate and express. By letting our favorite song lyrics carry our thoughts and emotions for us, we can temporarily release them, and allow other things to flow in, like clarity, forgiveness, and patience.
3. Crashing Out All By Yourself, Beautiful?
Let’s be real, sometimes we want to crash out. And honestly, you deserve it!
If you are fortunate enough to have a therapist, it might be a good idea to schedule a session with the express intent of having a safe space to crash out. Think of it like a controlled forest fire. While it seems detrimental to burn it all to the ground, controlled forest fires help clear overabundance of undergrowth and serve to further diversify plant life and restore eco-equilibrium.
Similar to how controlled forest fires are routinely scheduled, perhaps we should remove the shame surrounding crash outs and instead view them as a natural recurring part of life. The therapy environment serves as a safe and controlled environment for you to express and release these heightened emotions without the risk of burning yourself or others.
So, What Now?
Hot take: we are definitely living in a world where yes, maybe we should burn it all to the ground from time to time. I hope you find comfort in the reality that after it’s all said and done, the hope to build something better and grow from the past will always be available. And realistically, only one person can offer that hope each and every time.
And that person… is you!
